I was listening to a lesson by Imam Zaid Shakir and he mentioned that

The male is not like the female. We are different and have different needs. Sometimes there are marriage problems which we think we can solve with one situation. However sometimes there are female centric problems which brothers, your wife needs some TLC for – but TLC from a female centric perspective. And sisters, your husband or soon to be husband needs some TLC from a male centric perspective…

… Men have specific needs and you have to treat them a certain way cos if you do then you get a lot more out of him. Likewise brothers give your wife female-centred attention.

Never thought of it that way but I can see the sense into that now. So many times I’ve heard people say “oh he doesn’t understand me” or “why doesn’t she just do it this way, makes life so much easier” and at both times thought “i can understand what you’re saying but you can’t really say it like that to her/him” cos words hurt.

We’ve all been on the receiving end of vile words and of misinterpreted perceptions and we’ve all been in situations where we’re listening to an upset person. So now lets look at whether we are effectively communicating with the person we hope to understand better and giving them advice tailored to their needs rather than what we would assume they’d want to hear.