The Marginalised Society by Imam Zaid Shakir

 

Spirituality and Rehabilitation

An insightful lesson on “Spirituality and Rehabilitation” taught by Imam Zaid Shakir, as found on The Zaytuna Institute and Academy site:

… there’s lot to reflect on in this lesson.

May Allah shroud our teachers in Tawfeeq. Allahumma Ameen.

 

Communicating effectively with your spouse

I was listening to a lesson by Imam Zaid Shakir and he mentioned that

The male is not like the female. We are different and have different needs. Sometimes there are marriage problems which we think we can solve with one situation. However sometimes there are female centric problems which brothers, your wife needs some TLC for – but TLC from a female centric perspective. And sisters, your husband or soon to be husband needs some TLC from a male centric perspective…

… Men have specific needs and you have to treat them a certain way cos if you do then you get a lot more out of him. Likewise brothers give your wife female-centred attention.

Never thought of it that way but I can see the sense into that now. So many times I’ve heard people say “oh he doesn’t understand me” or “why doesn’t she just do it this way, makes life so much easier” and at both times thought “i can understand what you’re saying but you can’t really say it like that to her/him” cos words hurt.

We’ve all been on the receiving end of vile words and of misinterpreted perceptions and we’ve all been in situations where we’re listening to an upset person. So now lets look at whether we are effectively communicating with the person we hope to understand better and giving them advice tailored to their needs rather than what we would assume they’d want to hear.

 

Advice to Husbands and Wives

Al-Qur’an, Chapter 30, Verse 21 (Ar-Room [The Romans, The Byzantines]):

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put permanent friendliness and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.”

Imam Zaid Shakir in the following talk gives some really important advice to husbands and wives to gain harmony with one another and implement the ayah above instead of letting it float in our minds.

May Allah help us to respect and care for one another such that we help to nourish the Islam in our bonds. Allahumma Ameen.

Useful Articles:

• Al-Muwatta’ of Imam Malik by Imam Malik ibn Anas – Translated by Ustadha Aisha Bewley Chapter 28: Marriage
• Islamic Marriage by Ustadha Hedaya Hartford – Book Review by GF Haddad
• 100 Premarital Questions – Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani, SunniPath Academy Teacher
• Dua for love and respect in marriage – Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari, SunniPath Academy Teacher
• Marriage: Tips for a Better Husband & Wife Relationship – Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani, SunniPath Academy Teacher