Communicating effectively with your spouse

I was listening to a lesson by Imam Zaid Shakir and he mentioned that

The male is not like the female. We are different and have different needs. Sometimes there are marriage problems which we think we can solve with one situation. However sometimes there are female centric problems which brothers, your wife needs some TLC for – but TLC from a female centric perspective. And sisters, your husband or soon to be husband needs some TLC from a male centric perspective…

… Men have specific needs and you have to treat them a certain way cos if you do then you get a lot more out of him. Likewise brothers give your wife female-centred attention.

Never thought of it that way but I can see the sense into that now. So many times I’ve heard people say “oh he doesn’t understand me” or “why doesn’t she just do it this way, makes life so much easier” and at both times thought “i can understand what you’re saying but you can’t really say it like that to her/him” cos words hurt.

We’ve all been on the receiving end of vile words and of misinterpreted perceptions and we’ve all been in situations where we’re listening to an upset person. So now lets look at whether we are effectively communicating with the person we hope to understand better and giving them advice tailored to their needs rather than what we would assume they’d want to hear.

This entry was posted in Imam Zaid Shakir, Marriage/Family/Society, Reflections. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Communicating effectively with your spouse

  1. Pingback: Marriage - mawaddah/mahabba? « SeekersPath

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s