Intentions of Marriage

Just because people are getting married and those that are Alhumdulillah already married may need a reminding or two to make the most of your spouse being in your life …

“Kitab an-niyat كتاب النيات (book of intentions)”
by Al Habib Muhammad bin A’lawi al-A’idarus (Sa’d)

The Intentions of Marriage

The following are intentions one should have when entering into marriage. The intentions were composed by the great Shaykh, the ‘Arif of Allah, ‘Ali bin Abi-Bakr as-Sakran, may Allah shower them both with mercy.

I intend to enter into this marriage and take this wife (or husband) for the love of Allah ‘Azza-wa-Jall and to have children so that the human race shall continue. I also intend [to enter this marriage] for the love of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, so that he may take pride in it, as he said: “Marry and increase in numbers, as I will take pride in you before other nations on the Day of Judgement.

I have intended in this marriage—and all the actions and words that come from it—to be blessed by the prayer of a pious child; or for his intercession if he dies young before me. I have intended by this marriage to protect myself from Satan, by breaking the desire, [and thus] breaking the temptations of Satan, to lower the gaze, and reduce the Wiswas (withdrawing whisperer). I have also intended to protect my private parts from lewdness (illegal intercourse).

I have intended in this marriage the amusement of the self and to bring joy to it through by companionship (with my spouse); looking, and playing freely and to bring comfort to the heart and strengthening it for worship.

I have intended in this marriage the relief of the nafs and cherish it through companionship, the pleasure that comes through gazing at one’s spouse, mutual foreplay, the repose that floods the heart and strengthening it for worshiping.

I have intended by it, the relieving of the heart from the worries of housekeeping, cooking, sweeping, making the bed, cleaning the dishes and taking care of lively duties.

I have intended by this marriage, to struggle with the nafs and to train it ‘through care and guardianship’, to fulfill the rights of the family and to be patient with their characters, to endure the harm that comes from them, to work towards making them good, to guide them to the religious path, to struggle to seek lawful earnings for them, to command them to discipline the children by also asking from Allah for it and success for his sake and to drop between his hands and to show the excessive need towards Him in gaining it. I have intended all the previous for Allah Almighty.

I have intended all the previous and more from whatever I control, say and do in this marriage for Allah Almighty.

I have intended in this marriage whatever Your righteous servants and Your acting scholars have intended.

Allahumma, give us success as you have given them, help us as you have helped them. Overlook our shortcomings, accept [this] from us and do not entrust us to ourselves, even for the blink of an eye. Make good for us, all of the previous, by Your Grace and Generosity in good and in good health.

Allahumma, forgive us and have mercy upon us, be content with us and accept from us. Enter us into paradise and save us from the hell fire and make good all of our affairs. Allahumma, grant me in everything—in this marriage and all of my affairs—Your Help, Blessing and Peace. Protect me from preoccupying myself with other than You and do not put obstacles between me and Your obedience and make this marriage sufficient and virtuous for me. Allahumma, I—my moments of movement and stillness—am entrusted to You, so protect me; wherever I happen to be, take my affairs as You have taken the affairs of Your pious servants.

Allahumma, help us, together with our parents, children, spouses, our Shuyukh, our brothers, all our relatives, all those who come from the same womb as us, all those who have rights over us, and those who have the minimum of rights over us. Allahumma, assist me in remembrance of You, gratitude towards You and excellence in You worship, O Lord of the Worlds. Allahumma, guide us and grant us success, O Lord of the Worlds. Allahumma, make us live this life by Your Book and the Sunnah, O the One who is Majestic and Noble. Allahumma, we ask you by that which is accepted from us and by whatever brought us closer to You. Ameen. And send blessings and salutations, by Your Majesty, to the most noble of all envoys, Muhammad the seal of all prophets, his family and companions. And all praise is to Allah Lord of the Worlds.

Allahumma Ameen.

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This entry was posted in Hadith, Marriage/Family/Society, Reflections, كتاب النيات. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Intentions of Marriage

  1. as sallamu alaikum

    inshaa Allah this finds you in the best of states.

    May Allah give you good in this life and the next.

    Where one find this book full of gems,wisdom, and guidance

    Abdul Latif Al-Amin

  2. A Mahmood says:

    Assalamu alaykum

    MashaAllah, a beautiful reminder indeed. Thank you for sharing and reminding us. May Allah increase you in knowledge, wisdom and piety.

    Jazakallah Khair

    wassalam

  3. asmakarif says:

    Wa alaykum asalaam wa rahmatullah,

    Alhumdulillah we hope that the book (Arabic and English) will be ready for the public Insha’Allah when it’s permissible. The Arabic version can be gained from Tarim I believe. In the meantime duas are required for the author and those facilitating in such a venture.

    Take care, keep smiling, and wasalaam alaykum wa rahmatullah

    asma

  4. Din says:

    Ameen.

    Jazakallah Khayr for this.

  5. Anouss El Alaoui says:

    Assalamoualaikoum,

    Sister Asma what a pleasure to find your blog and read all the treasures here.

    Masha Allah, may Allah help you in what you do.

  6. Kate says:

    I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

    Kate

    http://educationonline-101.com

  7. Pingback: alhaddad.org » The Intentions of Marriage

  8. Pingback: Marriage - mawaddah/mahabba? « SeekersPath

  9. Pingback: The Book of Intentions (it’s here!) « SeekersPath

  10. Firdaus says:

    Thank you for sharing. Although, what would one say if a peson got married with these noble intentions, but did not have children? Is the marriage no longer worth what was intended? I have found that many people who get married do often have the right intentions. But what is difficult to get through in marriage is the reality of difficulties – health may diminish, rizq may not be what people expected, and sometimes infertility. What then?

    • asmakarif says:

      Thank you for your comment.

      From experience, a marriage is what you make of it. During times of illness or low rizq, one needs to keep up their shukr and one way of being grateful is to look at your spouse with affection and remember that he/she is a gift from Allah and therefore you should be grateful to Allah for that gift, regardless of whether the health/rizq of your spouse or your self is diminishing. If you experience difficulties within your marriage and do your best to stick to the intentions that you said you’ll adopt then you’ll stay strong with your spouse. This is from experience and I can only talk from that point of view.

      We should also remember that having intentions is good and comes from the heart; and fulfilling the intention lies with Allah as the act itself is facilitated by Allah. We see in Prophetic tradition people aiding the fasting person and getting the reward for the fast though they didn’t fast them self out of illness or some other reason. Likewise, we’re taught by our teachers that if we intend to do something and then in trying to fulfil the act we come to a halt as we’re unable to fulfil the act then we still gain the reward of the act as we made resolve to do it. So in the case of children – surely if one intends through marriage to have righteous children and then later finds they are infertile then they are rewarded for the intention to have children. And what about the reward for Sabr during this time of discovering ones infertility? There are beautiful women out there who carry a baby in their womb but it passes before their labour – what about the reward these women get for just carrying the child within them and having sabr during the loss?

      We should always remember having children or not having children is all a gift from Allah as Allah Knows Best and never places us in a situation we can’t handle. Stay strong to your faith and keep positive that what’s right for you will Be. And as an aside, do your best to ignore the culture which looks down on women who miscarry or can’t conceive. These people are ignorant of the state Allah has placed these beautiful women in and so we should do our best to remain in good character towards them and educate them in better ways.

      May Allah protect our marriages, our offspring, and elevate our state in the next world by allowing us tawfiq in this world. Allahumma Ameen.

  11. Pingback: The Intentions of Marriage « Achmed

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