Can one ever stop seeking?
I’ve been thinking about this for days though the answer only recently came to me.
Whilst sitting in a MicroMadrassa lesson, waiting for the next teacher to arrive, I pondered over the above question. This student realised she’s always going to be a student regardless of place or age. Just cos I’ve not posted anything up doesn’t mean I’ve not been seeking for ones purpose in life; to seek for closeness to Allah and our Messenger Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him; and simply to exist, experience, ponder and learn.
For the last mubarak 5 months, I’ve been journeying through a new state called “being married”. As it’s a state not to be taken lightly, this student had slowly tied loose ends before marriage in order to embrace marriage fully. By keeping hold of the teachings that beloved teachers had given this student, I thought that I could just about “get by” without feeling spiritually deprived until I found routine again. However, a new realisation came, which is that, Alhamdulillah wa ShukarAllah, I started to taste how much one can surrender to Allah through loving/respecting/nurturing ones husband and new family.
Straight after marriage, my husband gifted me with our first trip out of the UK – to go to perform Hajj. There’s many points that brought us together whilst we were performing our obligations and the sunnahs at such a blessed place. It’s hard to tell if we really left Saudi in spirit cos even now this student’s senses takes her to Makkah or the carpet she loved to pray on in Masjid al Nabi. It’s a strange (but good) feeling. Hard to explain.
One thing (out of many, Alhamdulillah) I am grateful for is that Allah gave me a husband of deen (may Allah keep encapsulating my husband in strong Iman, Ihsan and Islam. Allahumma Ameen). So even when I wasn’t seeking knowledge through the various activities this student was part of before marriage, I was still seeking knowledge in some form or another. Taking MicroMadrassa classes together and learning/testing one another has been beneficial. Taking time to understand each others point of view has increased our respect for one another even if there’s been any differences of opinion. I know we all are advised to marry someone who has deen rather than lineage, wealth, or beauty (though if you marry for the other three traits then you’re not in the wrong either; just the effects of those are variable in nature) but I really do feel, from what I’ve seen, that people take this advice from the Rasool (peace and blessings be upon him) lightly. There’s much good in marrying a man who loves the Rasool (peace and blessings be upon him) and shares the same Islamic values as you.
Masha’Allah observing the love my brothers have for the Rasool (peace and blessings be upon him) and the respect they show elders and children; the many teachings my parents can give me on life and how to simply be; and seeing the hijab of my sister is a blessed teaching within itself.
I’m grateful Allah gave this student eyes to see this all; ears to hear the voices praising the Rasool (peace and blessings be upon him); a tongue to taste the sweetness of rahma; hands to clean and purify this house such that Angels feel welcomed here; and the sense of smell to take in the Atr/Oudh.
I’m grateful to be able to realise that part of seeking knowledge is to be grateful to Allah for the knowledge that we have gained already from Him. And so whilst I sat in that class, waiting for the next mubarak teacher to come in and enlighten us, I took a moment to say Subhan’Allah wa biHamdihi, Subhan’Allah al-‘Azeem.
May Allah encapsulate us all in Noor, protect us from harm and the evil eye, shroud us in His Enabling Grace, increase our love for the Rasool (peace and blessings be upon him) and for one another, and grant us Jhannat through all doors after providing us shade on The Last Day. Allahumma Ameen. Allahumma Ameen. Allahumma Ameen.