Dear Son…

I’m sure you were sent to us for many reasons – most of which we won’t know until our meeting with our Creator. However, I want to take this opportunity to thank you, and as a result thank Allah, for journeying inside of me for 41 weeks and a day.

Whilst in my womb you taught me to put my faith in God in regards to your development; you helped me fulfil my long time wish to fast the whole of Ramadhan without it affecting your or my health; and till your last moment inside of me you were gentle and graceful.  Alhamdulillah.

Even after your passing you are teaching me so much: how to truly smile through adversity; hold firm to my faith that this is how God willed it and to be in peace with His Decree; be more aware of asserting myself when I’m not happy rather than just to be passive and give in; to remove negative people from my life so I can make space for adopting better relationships; and to remember that God is always near, always aware of everything I do. I don’t think I would have learnt that if I was physically holding you in my arms right now. Alhamdulillah.

In the beginning I said that it was going to take us time to adjust from having the mentality of being “four in a family” to just remaining as the three we were. I was wrong. That’s the thing about being imperfect humans… we can be wrong. Truth is we are a four. Alhamdulillah.

I want to thank you son for allowing me the opportunity to understand grief and to revisit my relationships with people – to depart from those that were polluting my life with their evil/negativity and to be around those who were genuine for Allah.

Alhamdulillah for your reminders to read the Qasida Burda when I lost my way. All it entails and all that you wanted your mother to gain from it are a sign of what a great son you are.

Alhamdulillah that you are our key to Paradise. Thank you for being a great son who will take us to Paradise – something every mother with faith yearns for.

You know where your father and I are at the moment. You know what is occurring in your old home. Please keep banging on Allah’s generous door and put in many good words for us.

Till the next time we meet,

Your mother who loves you dearly.

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1 Response to Dear Son…

  1. Shagufta says:

    Assalamu alaykum Asma,
    Thank you so much for sharing these posts. Your reflections and honesty is so so beneficial and heart-strengthening. May Allah bless and increase you in every way.

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