I know the title of this post is horrific. I’ve written it to spark some response and hopefully change some mind sets.
Ultimately All Praise is to God for the beautiful babies being born around this time of the year and for allowing me to be part of their life. I also would like to thank God for providing us such a great and perfect human being called Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) who stopped the vile practise of burying baby daughters and elevated the station of females.
Unfortunately, even with such a perfect guide in our life we still see and hear people being so backward in their mentality and preferring the birth of a boy over the birth of a girl. I’ve heard comments such as “If it was a girl I would have got angry with the mother for not looking after herself better… but I’m thankful to God we got a boy instead” as well as “We celebrate more when there’s a baby boy”. Comments like these are disgusting and should be questioned.
I remember in the last few weeks leading up to my labour, a community elder made it her mission to drill into me that I had to have a boy. If I didn’t then I would be a disgrace and bring shame to everyone. This woman made me feel like I would be nothing if I had a daughter… and when I did have a daughter, I witnessed how I had become nothing to her… which was fantastic on one hand because I really don’t have time for such people in my fascinating life. However, on another hand when you’re living in a community where the dominant person can’t move on from their vile state you end up thinking how their state will affect your children as they grow up, and whether it’s worth moving to another city.
I seriously want to ask all the people out there who favour having baby boys over baby girls in their family – and this is especially going out to all those who take it one step further by ignoring/looking down on the mother and/or daughter for being alive:
Why don’t you just bury the baby girl?
Clearly you’re not happy with what God has gifted you in your family so why not just take the baby girl and bury her rather than subject her to a life of your stupidity and disgusting mind set?
I wish I could say these people are ignorant to the point of not knowing this practise was abolished by the coming of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) but unfortunately these people are well educated in Islamic history and know this fact very well. I also can’t understand why any family member would think like this or allow anyone in their family to have this mentality. Surely it’s better to eliminate this thought from their minds so that the child doesn’t grow up feeling like their birth wasn’t celebrated properly due to her gender – and on a religious level, how can you be content with your family member earning the anger of Allah?
Another thing I want to highlight is basic science – for a baby boy to be produced you need an X and a Y chromosome… the Y chromosome has to come from the father as the mother only has X’s to give out! So to all those backward people blaming the mother and not their son for the new arrival being a girl:
Blame your son please and tell him he’s a disgrace to your family name and community!
Don’t take it out on the mother of the child – God only gave her X’s after all. And if you’re adamant that your son has no blame to hold in this matter and that it is your daughter in laws fault then ok, you’re really up against God on that one. I would love to watch you argue with The Giver of Life and Death but I have some positive worshipping to do instead.
I’m hoping if anyone reads this and they hear that a baby girl has been born in someone’s family that they make it a big occasion for them instead of saying “don’t worry, you’ll have a boy next time”.
I’m hoping if anyone has a baby daughter and they hear a family member speak negatively about her or say “I wanted a grandson/son/nephew” that you remind them to be grateful to God before God takes life away from your family and you educate them in the goodness that comes with daughters.
I’m hoping if anyone had the “boys are better than girls” mentality before reading this post that the very imagery of burying a new born family member alive scares them to the point that they become content with whatever God grants them.
I’m hoping for a better tomorrow for all the children being born, regardless of their gender.
May God change the hearts of those that are diseased and help us to implement The Message the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) brought. Ameen.