I’ve been receiving emails recently from various websites I subscribed to whilst pregnant (and need to really unsubscribe myself from) giving tips on how to manage a “fussy baby” or a “fussy eater”. I don’t understand why people describe a child negatively when logic would say their behaviour is in line with the amount of skills they have picked up and still need to pick up. If a baby cries they are noisy and if a baby refuses to take something then they are called fussy. How about giving the baby the excuse that he/she doesn’t know how to speak yet and so can only communicate with you through crying or moving his/her arms?!
Pakistanis often say “ghandi (dirty child)” when seeing a baby, even if the baby is doing something good, because apparently it removes “evil eye” from the child. I’ve heard of this practice in Hinduism (note to my Hindu friends: if I’ve mixed your faith with culture then let me know please) but I’m not sure if there’s any Islamic foundation to this practice. God created everything beautiful. It’s our own lack of inner beauty and vision that hinders us from seeing the natural beauty in creation.
It’s very hard to change the mentality of people (especially family members) who believe describing a child negatively is a good thing or harmless, but ultimately it’s you who will be living with your child so think good of them always. After all, God promises to answer the prayers of a mother so whenever anyone is saying a negative remark about your child, pray that your child becomes the opposite to what they are saying. This is opposed to sitting there and agreeing with them – cos your agreement could be accepted as a prayer for your child. In addition, when you leave your child with a family member remind them that they are the guardians of your child, for that moment of time, so should speak good about your child in case their remarks/perception is accepted as a prayer.
Children need to be raised in a loving environment and one of the greatest ways to give them a positive environment is to address them with good names.
May God protect our children from the evil of others and allow us to only speak good of them without having pride in our hearts. Ameen.
Asma K Arif 